This time last year , what was supposedly to be my most happiest moment in my life , turned out to be the worst and lowest part of my 35 years of existence here on this planet earth . Even failing an exam did not pulled down my inner sense and spirit that low at that moment . That Christmas holiday that year was suppose to be my honeymoon with ' him ' but as you would know by now , it was not meant to be . I still went ahead with the so-call holidaying all by myself to a cold foreign land at Christmas away from my own family . I was not only all alone and miserable , I was depressed to the extend that I went in search of a church the minute I arrived there just to seek solace and a peace of heart and mind in that foreign land . I lost my mood to sight see the tourist attraction sites , I lost my mood to have a proper meal and I practically lost ' it ' all ! That huge room with a big bed that I booked online months earlier felt totally empty and too big to be slept upon by a single soul like me lying in it in that foreign land . Thank God for a dear friend who lives in the northern part of that country , drove down to the southern part together with her spouse and kids just to spend the entire day with me - after knowing what I was going through - she understood that that so call ' holiday ' was not a happy one . I love you so much dear Lucy and from the bottom of my heart , you know how much your presence that day meant to me ........... ;) You are truly a true friend . Hugs !
Christmas that year was indeed a dampening one or should I just say , the worst I ever had in my life................. I felt like the world has turned against me for my sins hence I'm being punished in this way.................I have given my all in that relationship and I just wish that God or His angels can point out to me what I have done wrong ??? Is it falling in love ??? Is that a sin ???
Despite all that has happened , am I strong enough to face all of that which came my way ???
I have some nasty characters tell me off that I'm not matured enough to fall in love .............what does that mean ? Should I not be given a chance in a relationship ??? People can indeed be so cruel and unkind with their words to the extend I've decided to keep away from these ruthless characters .
So , here I am now , a year later , I feel like I have grown a little bit towards a better me , a stronger me and a more bolder me . My heart has been played with , stabbed , tortured , tested but hey ...........I'm still standing and moving strong - all thanks be to HIM alone who cheered me on when everyone else choose to say " I told you so he's no good for you " .................... You know what ? I'm sick and tired of hearing that that I've decided to keep my future plans a secret and away from the public eye . The only one person that I should be turning to is no else but GOD alone . I have learnt my lesson the painful way .
I hope that I have not neglected what is really, the most important objective of my entire existence ; to be a good person , a righteous Christian , an obedient daughter , a loyal friend and a cheerful character all in itself . For that, I am happy to think that that Christmas has been a cynical one fill with all its challenges , through which I have grown and learn the important key lessons and experiences of life.I pray that 2014 will hopefully be bountiful of blessings and fill with surprises :
- Never give up on LOVE .
- Pray for my future spouse - a righteous man .
- patience as a virtue that I'd like to further develop
- happiness as a goal for me to bestow upon others and hopefully, others upon me
- consistency as a trait that I always strive to gain and maintain
- composure & contentment both in my personal and working lives
- health --- both in physical and mental state
- gratitude for God's every little blessings that comes my humble way
- love for me, my beautiful family, my great friends and lovely people who cross my paths
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