Does marriage really ' completes ' me ???

I don't have a clue as to what kind of expression I seem to portray or what kind of message is visibly written on my forehead that I'm not aware of since lately . My fellow colleagues and so call colleague friends ( whom I've worked with in the past ) , seem to have a very direct and similar question in common . " So , when's the big day ? ". Now - this makes me wonder , which ' big day ' are they referring to.........my birthday is my big day too or is it Christmas which is also another big day to me or.........drum roll please.........my wedding day ??? This leaves me no choice but to play stupid or sarcastic each time such question is posed to me and of lately - very often that I was also contemplating of recording my truthful reply ; " I'm still fishing the deep blue ocean of love "........." which is unfortunately filled with way too many ' stinking fishes ' for my liking " ! I tried to avoid the topic on marriage as much as I can but unfortunately circumstances is otherwise especially when it concerns the people that you often meet anywhere and everywhere - both men and women .

The question now remains , is marriage the answer to loneliness ? Is marriage the answer to a happy family ? Is marriage the answer to a complete and perfect life ? Is marriage the answer to life's all unanswered questions ? I wouldn't know cause I've never been married , I've never had a husband and never had a child . Next question , am I being choosy - hhhmmmmmm - I don't think so and that much I know because if I am , wouldn't I've been in many countless relationships by now ??? Thus far and since this past one year , I was only involved in two relationship for an extremely short frame of time and those two relationship was my very first's since the last 31/32 years of my earthly life . I'm still considered a new-fangled in this guy girl relationship . I'm no pro at falling in love . If my destiny is to be married , it will happen at the unexpected time and at an unexpected place . If it's not meant to be , who is to be blame ? Me ? God ? or my destiny itself ? There are many people out there who are single and yet happy but then again , there are also those who single and yet unhappy . At the end of the day , it's how one sees life and how he or she wish to live it that matters . Marriage is not and it will never be the solution to happiness and loneliness . It never was and it never will be ! Why is the world so trapped in a fantasy island ? It only leads to a fantasy wedding which is mirror of illusion . The world has failed or should I rephrase it as ' denying ' to give realistic views of marriage in the real world . Marriage has never had a Disney ending . It's always from perseverance and understanding from both the man and woman which leads to a healthy and a solid marriage . Well - that's how I observe it happening in my own family amongst my siblings and even my parents for that matter . The constant bickering that my parents often seem to be locked in , seems and sounds humorous to me but in reality , its only one person that can do the talking and the other one will be on silent mode ( or just playing plain deaf - works effectively though ! ) .

It really breaks my heart to hear that some of my school mates and classmates are on the edge of separation or divorce. The first lady , she's avoiding her husband because she has been diagnosed with a sickness which may be fatal and she does not want her husband to be involved in her times of sickness - strange right ???!!! Isn't it mentioned or profess during a marriage declaration " in good times and in bad , in sickness and in health , I promise to love you , honour you and cherish you till death do us apart " ? The second scenario , she found out ( my other classmate ) , that her husband is cheating on her. There , you have it ! - so young at marriage and family life yet the real essence of fidelity and honesty no longer exist . Marriage seems to be a monopoly of game to many people these days , it's no longer considered sacred back during the days when our parent and grandparents got married . What has become of marriage now ??? The fear of growing old and being all alone seems to haunt me often but what about marriage ? It equally has it's shares of problem either way to being single or being married . If I'm destined to be married , I will definitely sing a million praises to the heavens but hey ! wait ??? The maintenance of a good marriage sure takes a lot of effort , patience , understanding , tolerance , forgiveness and not forgetting the most important affection of all - loads of undivided love . About leading a single life , hhhmmmmmm , maybe unless I decide to choose a spiritual partner - not a problem - but that does not mean I'm free from any fears or troubles - I only gain my freedom of the singlehood.

I pray that life treats me well as for me and for you . And as for destiny , I guess it's up to me now to walk towards a path which I believe only God will be my guiding light.

" Being single is getting over the illusion that there is somebody out there to complete you and taking charge of your own life " . - Omkar Phatak .