‘ import ‘ external information from external sources – LOL ! – not so original ! ) , anyway I thought I would get my fingers tapping and my ridiculous ideas/opinions/wants/desires bla bla bla flowing . There’s this thing that I do; not very often; but I do. Lately, I seem to do it a bit too often.
In recent times , I’ve been into this habit of nail bitting . Dunno why and how but I just seem to enjoy the clean taste of my nails somehow . You know how it is – everyone calling it ‘ disgusting ‘ . Nail bitting aside , everyone’s talking about something, and in all the excitement, you get sucked in and say something on hindsight , you shouldn’t have said. It may be that the others didn’t get what you said, or they might even not been bothered about it. After all, what was said was in line with their thoughts , their perception of things. But not entirely yours. And the so called hot topic ?! – Exams are over , results are out , what’s next ? I wish I could turn back the clock so that I know what I would definetly want to do next completing high school . I really admire those bunch of seventeen year old's and eighteen year old's for they are spoilt for choice as to what they look for in pursuing their goals in life . As for me , it’s more than twelve years since my era is over , made a lot silly mistakes and ruthless decision which has indeed affected my path for a choice of a wise career for I sometimes feel that I’m being in the wrong profession . The other weakness , listening to some pathetic people whom I thought were my ‘ friends for life ‘ influence my decision of a choice of a career and a wise education . But along the way , I had this nudging feeling that whatever I decided to do or wherever I go , that I’m not gonna trouble nor burden my parents or the people around me financially . I know that I’m not gonna be able to do things for myself for it is only in God whom I most often depend upon . A close confidante of mine once told me this when I poured out my heart to him when I was most depressed at one point in my life some years ago “ You had a noble thought not to be a burden to others. Wonderful! I know many who have done this, with no regrets. Working and studying at the same time has indeed helped you to be responsible, financially independent, mature and more accomplished. I do not understand why you call it "a big mistake ". Aaawwww…. God bless this man !
Anyway , having shared that , I have tried to change. I’ve tried to…I don’t know. I’ve tried to…hmmm…well, I’ve tried doing something that would be considered normal. I’m just not sure what that is that I’ve tried because quite frankly, if I were to change, it probably means I would have to cease my existence.
Something to keep me motivated as I decide to move on with life ; -
Never apologize for being you ! KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD . ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT GOD LOVES YOU AND HE ALWAYS HAS YOUR BACK .
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