Do I have more than enough ? I'm still the same ol' me as I was years ago

Yet another rambling coming on after having read the title of this blog - yup ! A friend was trying to get me to hang out with her recently and unfortunately I had to call off the ' hang-out ' session due to my last minute change in schedule or some other emergencies emerges at times that you least expect .It's not that I'm trying to avoid the company of my dear friends ( who happen to be single ladies and unfortunately not guys - lol ! ) , but it's just that when we look forward to something extra exciting that we've long been planning and suddenly it does not turn out the way as we want it to , it's totally beyond my control . My dear friend apparently have this impression that I seem to be living a good life being single and all of that sort . Good life..........hmmmmm............ not that I'm not but I would hate to mislead you .

To reiterate what I have written in the past , this blog is precisely about the things that I enjoy , things that I love and most of all , about my life's journey . It could simply be anything and everything . From people to animals , books to shoes and handbags , shopping to eating , office to the world or even about facts of life ( remember the post about me getting counselling and cool butt ? ).....................................................

A friend once told me , that she received a sms birthday greeting from a loved one stating ; - " Happy Birthday my dear ! Now what do I get for somebody who already has everything in life ? " and I just went WOW ! I'm truly happy for her for she has truly indeed achieved everything that any lady her age ( which I am too ! ) would want to be , from a responsible daughter to a caring sister , a loving wife to a doting mother . But you see , the difference here is , I'm not married , I'm still the plain old single Jane that I was fifteen years ago . Do I have more than enough ? Materialistic speaking - yes I do and plenty . Spiritually and emotionally - NO I don't and a long way to go I must say . Can a man or marriage or children make me happy ? I don't know . Am I happy with my job ? - well , just satisfied and no complains no though it's not the perfect job but I thank God for my understanding supervisor ! The basic necessities of life such as a roof above my head , living with my parents , my job , my contribution to society ( just started this ) , leisure living and annual travelling , few friends whom I dearly trust , care , love and respect about , annoying siblings otherwise ok , carefree living , other teeny weeny stuff that I just love doing to keep myself occupied - it's already good enough ! Yet , there just seems to be some sort of dissatisfaction within me . I'm truly grateful for all the good things that has happen to me all these years - 10 years that just seems to pass my by so soon . And so , I took a good look around and I see my life here before me , my identity , my education , my job and my belongings. Yes , I do seem like I have it all ( except about being married - lol ! ) . But the question remains - do I really have it all ???

Being 32 and moving towards 33 years of my life and being single ( will blog about the break-up another time ) , is something that I never foresee to happen to me . What I planned for way back in those schooling years , is to be married and to settle down with my family before I turn 30 and living in some strange land . I never foresee myself still being single right here and now . So you see , I don't have much to bragged about . Nevertheless , I can never stop thanking and singing my praises about those good things and loving affection that I already have .

My dear friends , I am still the same me . I hope my accumulated possession don't render me shallow although at times I fear that I am just that. I pray that I will remain true to myself no matter what and thus ignorance will cease to infect me. My writings are mere writings . There is more to my life than bags or shoes or even Swatches - wink ! wink ! I have seen homeless people carrying around their worldly possession in a knapsack , the same old or young beggar begging for money from me or anyone else , the crushed friend who seems to fear way too much than to depend on faith and God and a whole lot more . I could go on and on about them but here , I choose to be light about my world at the same time being painfully mindful not to create a persona that isn't accurate .

This is my way to be translucent albeit in not so transparent way . I am still me regardless of how I am perceived . I apologised for the shallowness that I portray to my good old friends who may find this silly but to some , this is only for a bit of fun. I don't believe in exposing my deepest and most personal of sharing thoughts and experiences here which is sometimes best kept to myself . There is that privacy I always crave for and blogging sensibly helps me to remain happy and sane by expressing my common thoughts in a harmless possible way .

We all live a good life if we decide to and so remember ; while the grass is always greener on the other side , how do we know if it's really real ? It could well be a mirage or simply an illusion of grandeur . So , don't look too far but take a good look at ourselves first and be grateful for everything that we have for if we stare too hard at the false imagery of others , we may just loose our footings and fall into the trap of fantasy . May your grass will always be green and my pasture livable .